Ask Dr. Dombeck
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

about a year and 3 months ago my husband daughter and i moved back to my home town to help take care of my grandmother with pulmonary fibrosis, we moved in with her and i took care of her every need until the day she died, that has been 9 months ago, she was in hospice care and one of the drugs they gave her was morphine, and i know it suppresses respirations which with pulmonary fibrosis could be a problem, she never took the medicine until the day before she died she asked me to give it to her, i gave her one dose, and in my rational mind i know i did not kill her, but i still feel guilty, i also feel like i could have made her last months here better, and no matter how many times i am told how good i did, i still fell i didn't do enough, i dream about her almost every night, and cry every day, i don't want to wake up in the mornings i never do anything that i used to do or love to do. then about 2 months ago my best friend who i have known my entire life dies in a car wreak, i have feelings of guilt about her because of the life she lead and i feel like i should have done more to help her...

i can't seem to get over any of this and i feel myself going deeper and deeper into something, depression i guess, my father has bipolar, and i suffered from post partum, but that passed as soon as i went back to work. i am not my self and i don't know what to do, i do have a family doctor, but my mother is the nurse there and i don't want her to catch wind of anything because i don't want her to worry, but i just need help so bad, i don't know what to do. i don't know what kind of doctor to see and even then i couldn't afford to do anything(no insurance)...i try to tell my husband i need help but he says that i am stronger than people who need to take meds.....but i honestly feel i will never ever come out of this....i am so lost and i don't know what to do. i get scared and nervous taking long car rides and get angry at things a lot faster than i used to . sometimes i feel like i am going to jump out of my skin and go crazy, others i just want to lay in the bed and never ever get up. i feel so selfish for feeling this way but i cant help, this is nothing like i used to be i need help

Disclaimer

• Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
• Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
• Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
• No correspondence takes place.
• No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Dombeck to people submitting questions.
• Dr. Dombeck, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Dombeck and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
• Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.