Depressed

i have typed in here before. Don't even know anybody. But its nice to talk to people who understand to some extent first hand what your going thru. I am coming to the lowest point of my depression. No energy, thoughts of death, not caring about anything. Taking things like cough syrup just to make me sleep early, cause I do not want to stay awake. wanting to drink alcohol to make me forget. Wanting to do anything to make me forget my thoughts, and stop thinking. I am scheduled next week to go into therapy. I feel like a hypocrite in a way. i respond to message posts writing positive things like don't give up and stuff. But i am a hypocrite. it is somewhat scary how depressed i have become. i do not want to be around anybody, except my boyfriend. My cousin came over today, i haven't seen her in a while, and i just wanted her to go. I dropped out of nursing school cuz i was flunking. My life has become really pathetic. sometimes i feel i am just taking up space on this earth and just being a burden to everyone around me. i am so tired of it all

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