Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Hi: I really need you to help me.  I'm 25 years old and married to my High School sweetheart.  I love him soooooooooo much and we are great together. We are in love and best friends too.  Sometimes I change my mood suddenly and only with him while he is being nice to me.  I start being mean and, in my mind, I start thinking that he is making me look bad because he is too nice to me and no matter what I do I'm always not doing well enough!  I know its only in my mind but I hate it when my friends tell me that he is really nice to me.  I always feel like I want to prove that I'm really nice to him too. Although I am nice to him, sometimes when he is too nice, I hate that and start acting mean and suddenly I can't stand him.

Something inside me always wants me to be nicer than he is.  In my mind I assume that when a man is nice people look at the woman like she is in control AND I CANT stand being looked at like that.

Please help me.  I'm hurting the love of my life and I want to change it.  This happens every couple of days and then I really regret being mean. What can I do?

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