Advance Funeral Arrangements
Kathryn Patricelli, MAIn addition to legal and financial arrangements, many adults make funeral preparations in advance. While this might seem like a morbid task, such planning can spare your family from having to make difficult choices at a point in the future when they are also dealing with the pain and grief of your death. Advance planning is also a way to spread out the cost and therefore reduce the financial burden that a funeral and burial can place on surviving family members. Funeral and burial costs average thousands of dollars in many countries and can vary considerably based on specific preferences. Both the cost and the number of details involved in planning a funeral can seem very overwhelming to a grieving family.
Advance planning tasks can include buying burial plots or space in a mausoleum, making plans about the type of service that is to be held, and discussions with family about your desires. Many states, terroritories and provinces have regulations that govern the work of funeral homes. Some require that a consumer who contacts a funeral home must be given line item price lists in addition to information about available services such as caskets, ceremonies, personnel, transportation of the body, items present at the viewing or funeral, etc.
While embalming is generally a part of the burial process, those who choose an immediate burial without a ceremony with the body present, have the option to forego this procedure. Direct cremation (without a visitation or viewing) is also an option and typically costs a few hundred dollars. Clearly, direct burial or cremation options are cheaper, but many families prefer to have viewings and/or ceremonies with the body present.
It is commonly thought that a service or funeral is not possible if you choose cremation. However, a visitation with open casket and a full funeral can occur prior to cremation, just as when a person is being buried. In other cases, cremation may occur immediately after death, and a memorial service (with ashes present) is held at a later date. Both options are becoming increasingly popular.
While you can choose to prepay all expenses to a specific funeral home, financial advisors and other experts do not generally recommend this practice, as there is considerable risk in doing so. Those that prepay must hope that the company will still be in business when they die. Another option is to set up a fund for funeral and burial expenses, which is accessible by a beneficiary at the time of death. This can take the form of a trust fund, a life insurance policy that is equal to the amount that will be needed, or a savings/certificate of deposit account.
Discussing your wishes can be difficult or uncomfortable, as family members will often not want to think about or discuss your eventual death. However, it is particularly important to have this discussion if you have strong beliefs about the type of funeral or burial that you prefer. If a direct discussion is not possible, then you can consider writing a letter to be opened at the time of your death. Such a letter is a less desirable option, however, particularly if you believe that your family members may be dismayed by or disagree with your choices. Discussing funeral arrangements in person can allow you to explain your decisions and hopefully, gain agreement from your family.
Resources
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Articles
- Introduction to Death & Dying
- Planning for & Dealing with Your Own Imminent Death
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Signs of Approaching Death & Types of Care
- Signs and Symptoms of Approaching Death
- Dealing with the Imminent Death of a Loved One - Caring for a Dying Person
- Types of Care Available to Those Who Are Dying
- Heroic Measures to Prevent Death
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Dealing with a Loved One's Imminent Death
- Making Peace with a Loved One's Imminent Death
- Dealing With Your Loved One's Imminent Death - Preparations and Activities
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After a Death
- After the Death
- Funeral and Burial
- How to Behave at a Service and During the Grieving Period
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Grief & Bereavement Issues
- Grief
- Symptoms of Grief
- Factors Influencing the Grief/Bereavement Process - Unexpected Death Vs. Expected Death
- Factors Influencing the Grief/Bereavement Process - Helping Children Grieve
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Death & Dying Special Issues and Resources
- Special Issues Related To Death And Dying - Euthanasia
- Death and Dying Conclusion and Resources
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Questions and Answers
- Change of Heart After Parent's Death
- General Anxiety
- Longing For My Son
- My Dead Mother Haunts My Dreams
- Sudden Loss
- Trauma/Tragedy
- A Recent Loss
- The Grass is Always Greener...
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Book & Media Reviews
- A Commonsense Book of Death
- At the End of Words
- Before and After Loss
- Before I Die
- Being with Dying
- Beyond Goodbye
- Bodies in Motion and at Rest
- Crispin
- Death
- Death Benefits
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44 more
- Death in the Classroom
- Death Is That Man Taking Names
- Death of a Parent
- Ecstasy
- Erasing Death
- Ethical Wills
- Extreme Measures
- Facing Death: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
- Going Through Hell Without Help From Above
- Graceful Exits
- Healing Conversations
- I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye
- Immortal Remains
- In Love With Life
- Into the Gray Zone
- Learning to Fall
- Let's Talk About Death
- Liberating Losses
- Losing Mum and Pup
- Loss
- Love, Aubrey
- Michael Rosen's Sad Book
- Mortal Dilemmas
- Murder in the Inn
- Olive's Ocean
- On Life After Death
- Peaceful Death, Joyful Rebirth
- Planning for Uncertainty
- Saving Grace
- Suffering, Death, and Identity
- Sunset Story
- The Awakening
- The Bright Hour
- The Color of Absence
- The Lovely Bones
- The Miracle
- The Modern Art of Dying
- The Other Side of Sadness
- The Suicide Tourist
- The Travelers
- To Die Well
- What Dying People Want
- When Breath Becomes Air
- Young@Heart
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Links
- [4] Associations
- [8] Information
- [1] Journals
- [1] Services
- [17] Videos
- [1] Blogs
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Videos
- Talking to Our Kids With Autism Spectrum Disorder About Death
- The Difference Between Hospice and Palliative Care
- Advance Directives
- Palliative Care Often Misunderstood
- Advanced Directives
- The Importance of Advanced Directives
- How to Set Up an Advance Healthcare Directive
- The Journey of Palliative Care: Putting Quality Back Into Life
- Planning Ahead with Advanced Directives
- Complicated Grief: Q & A with Dr. M. Katherine Shear
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7 more
- Understanding Hospice Care
- Planning for End-of-Life
- Grief through a Child's Eyes
- Palliative Care: Who is it For, What Does it Do, Why Should I Want it and When?
- What Really Matters at the End of Life
- Talking About Death Won’t Kill You
- When to Create a Living Will
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More Information
- Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Irvin Yalom, MD on Death Anxiety
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