Manage Stress, Self-Regulation & Provide Order
Margaret V. Austin, Ph.D., edited by C. E. Zupanick, Psy.D.5. Manage stress: Having a newly diagnosed child with ADHD can be an extremely stressful experience. Caregivers may become discouraged or overwhelmed themselves. Being the caregiver of a child with special needs calls up all sorts of feelings and emotions. Ask for help from professionals, particularly if you are feeling depressed, frustrated and exhausted. Use self-care to manage additional stress. When you're less stressed, your child is less stressed. Nonprofessional support groups are also helpful. Many communities have local support groups. Some are organized through Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (CHADD). You can find the nearest chapter to your home on http://www.chadd.org. Use the chapter locator.
6. Learn and teach the skill of self-regulation
A key skill for caregivers and children alike is self-regulation. Self-regulation is the ability to monitor internal states and to make adjustments as needed. For example, suppose an exhausted parent returns home after a long day at work. As soon as they walk through the door, they find their ADHD child in the midst of a tantrum. The child stomps their foot down for emphasis, and shouts, "I will not do my homework. Its' stupid. Besides, you can't make me." That taunting tone is enough to make any parent reactive. An initial reaction might be to jump into the fray without thoughtful consideration of the problem. This could easily occur because the parent is already tired and just doesn't have the mental energy to deal with the situation. However, a parent with good self-regulation would recognize they need a few moments to regain composure. This additional time alone allows the parent to readjust his or her internal mental state. The parent might lie down to rest briefly; do some yoga stretches; meditate; or simply take several deep breathes. The ability to self-regulate is a skill we all need at times. However, it is a skill that requires intention and practice. Once caregivers learn self-regulation, they can teach this skill to their child. Consultation with a psychologist to learn mindfulness techniques can be helpful.
7. Provide order and structure in the home
One of the most important ways to provide order and structure is to structure time. Time management is critical to success. Unfortunately, many kids with ADHD struggle with time management. They do not accurately judge the passage of time. They live in the moment and are happy to do so. They have difficulty estimating how long a project will take. Time seems to pass at an agonizingly slow rate when performing a "boring" task.
An impaired sense of time is often a lifelong problem. It doesn't tend to improve, even with medication. Helping children learn to compensate for these deficits is essential for their success. Punishing students for poor time management is not an effective technique. It does not help the child develop time management skills.
Caregivers can help children learn time management strategies. Time management involves four main steps:
1) Plan;
2) Prioritize;
3) Schedule; and,
4) Follow the plan.
Plan: A paper or electronic planner is a very useful tool to help children learn planning skills. Caregivers should practice using the planner with their child each day. Check to be sure that tasks were listed and recorded correctly. Check to make sure the planner is current and up-to-date, marking off completed items.
Prioritize: Caregivers can help children learn how to set priorities. You and your child might begin by dividing tasks into two groups: Important (do it now) and Unimportant (do it anytime). Students may need an additional category for semi-important items. Each task can be written on a post-it note so each task can be moved from one category to the next. Students can then pick the top three items and start there. Caregivers can discuss priority ranking criteria such as deadlines.
Schedule: Scheduling can be accomplished by transferring the "to-do" post-it notes, onto the daily planner. Children should be encouraged to accurately estimate the time it takes to complete a project. Encourage children to practice improving time estimation. One way to do this is by getting feedback on time estimate accuracy. First, estimate the amount of time for a task and record it. Then complete the task. Write down the actual time it took and compare the two. Although this can be a difficult task to learn, observing trends can facilitate learning.
Follow the plan: The last step in the sequence may seem obvious, but it is not obvious to ADHD students: follow the plan. Additional tools can be handy. For instance, it can be helpful to keep the "to do" list in sight by using 3x5 cards and organizing them on a cork board. Alternatively, post-it notes can be arranged, and rearranged, on a standup clipboard.
There are many apps for smartphones that provide planners, scheduling, timers, and reminders. Timers can be used to identify break times, and to guide movement from one task to the next.
Resources
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Articles
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Childhood ADHD Overview
- Introduction to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- Signs & Symptoms of ADHD
- ADHD Signs and Symptoms: Attention Difficulties
- ADHD Signs and Symptoms: Hyperactivity
- ADHD Signs and Symptoms: Impulsivity
- Are There Different Types of ADHD?
- The Social, Educational, Financial & Occupational Impact of ADHD
- What are the Legal Rights of Caregivers and Their Children with ADHD (USA)?
- A Positive Spin: Is There Anything Good about ADHD?
- Signs of ADHD in Children at Home
- Signs of ADHD in Children at School
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- What Should I Do If I Think My Child Might Have ADHD?
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ADHD Discoveries and Controversies
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- Cultural and Gender Differences in Prevalence Rates
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- New and Promising Areas of Research
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- ADHD or Another Condition?
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Diagnosis of ADHD in Children
- Who Can Diagnose ADHD?
- How Does ADHD Multi-Source Assessment Work?
- Assessment Instruments: Behavioral Checklists
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- Assessment Instruments: Achievement Tests (or Academic Tests)
- Assessment Instruments: Tests of Attention
- Assessment Instruments: Memory and Other Common Tests
- Step 2: Clinical Interviews
- Step 3: Physical Exam and Medical History
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ADHD Treatment in Children
- Multimodal ADHD Treatment Approach
- ADHD Medications
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- Risks of ADHD Medication
- Risks of ADHD Medications - Part II
- Benefits of ADHD Medication
- Side Effects of ADHD Medications
- Medication Decisions and Medication Management
- How Long Should ADHD Medication Treatment Last
- Psycho-Education about ADHD and Its Management
- Family Therapy
- Individual and Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapy for the Child with ADHD
- Skills Training
- Social Skills Training and Coaching
- Supports
- Alternative ADHD treatment: What Does NOT Work?
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Family and Personal Supports
- Effective Disciplinary Techniques
- Learn about Resources and Be Proactive
- Manage Stress, Self-Regulation & Provide Order
- Develop Routines, Organization and Expectations
- Communicate and Collaborate with Schools
- Express Confidence in Your Child's Abilities
- Help Children Improve Social Skills and Peer Relationships
- Avoid Homework Battles and Monitor Medication
- I Think I have ADHD. What should I do?
- I Think I Have ADHD - Part II
- Famous People with ADHD
- Adult ADHD Overview
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Diagnosis of Adult ADHD
- How is Adult ADHD Diagnosed?
- Diagnostic Challenge 1: Looking into the Past
- Diagnostic Challenge 2: ADHD versus Similar Disorders
- Diagnostic Challenge 2 - Part II
- Diagnostic Challenge 3: ADHD Symptoms
- Diagnostic Challenge 3 - Part II
- Diagnostic Challenge 4: A Concealed Disorder
- Specialized Tests and Tools
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Adult ADHD Treatment
- ADHD Medication Treatment
- Stimulant and Non-Stimulant Drugs for Adult ADHD
- Medication Timing, Dosage, Monitoring, and Duration of Treatment
- Weighing the Risks and Benefits of Adult ADHD Medications
- Psychotherapy for ADHD
- Coaching/Supported Employment for Adult ADHD
- Social Skills Training for Adult ADHD
- Psycho-Education and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- ADHD Resources and References
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Childhood ADHD Overview
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Questions and Answers
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- Making ADD Work
- Medicating Children
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- New Look at ADHD: Inhibition, Time, and Self-Control
- Non-Drug Treatments for ADHD
- Overcoming ADHD
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- Reclaiming Our Children
- Rethinking ADHD
- Ritalin is Not the Answer Action Guide
- Ritalin Nation
- Running on Ritalin
- Should I Medicate My Child?
- Taking Charge of ADHD, Revised Edition
- The Explosive Child
- The Gift of Adult ADD
- The Little Monster
- The Science of ADHD
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- Treating ADHD and Comorbid Disorders
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- ADHD in Preschoolers: What to Look For and How to Help
- FYI on ADHD Evaluations
- Teaching Grit, Perseverance and Frustration Tolerance to Students with ADHD
- Does my Child Have ADHD?
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- 5 Solutions for Common ADHD Social Struggles
- Is My High School Student Ready for College? (And Is My College Student Ready to Go Back?)
- Understanding and Applying the Science of Time Management
- ADHD Medication and College Students: Prevent Misuse, Abuse, and Diversion
- Improve Homework Time with Strategies That Work For ADHD
- Student Voices: What Really Matters to Young Adults With Learning and Attention Issues
- 5 Ways Nutrition can Impact ADHD Symptoms
- 3 Tips for Adjusting to a New Diagnosis of ADHD
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- Department of Education Guidance Broadens Understanding of 504 Rights for Kids with ADHD Part II
- Ask The Expert: Neurofeedback Treatment for ADHD
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- When You and Your Child Have ADHD - Communication Skills to Resolve Conflict
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- A Summer At Camp
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- ADHD: Signs, Symptoms, Research
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- Health and Life Expectancy in ADHD
- Focus on ADHD
- Pediatrics: ADHD and Food Allergies
- ADHD: It's a Family Affair
- Does Your Child Have ADHD?
- ADHD in Children
- Living with ADHD
- Rise in ADHD Cases in Children
- Why is Dating Difficult When You Have ADHD
- Video Games, Screens, and ADHD A Potent Mix
- Ask the Expert Helping Children with ADHD LD Conquer Chronic Stress
- Ask the Expert: Mindfulness, Stress, & Emotion
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- Ask the Expert Educator Edition: ADHD & Executive Functioning
- Ask the Expert - Academic Evaluations - What Parents Need to Know
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- Helping Parents & Kids Understand the Social & Emotional Aspects of ADHD
- Social and Emotional Concerns of Children with ADHD: Strategies to Help
- Holiday Gifts for Children with ADHD
- Behavior Management and Combined Treatment for Children with ADHD
- Setting Realistic School Expectations for Students with ADHD
- On Their Own: Helping College Students with ADHD
- Children's Communication Challenges: Is it Attention, Language or Both?
- Out-of-School: Parenting During the Summer
- ADHD in the Workplace: Finding Success
- Emotions and Motivation in ADHD
- The Role of Medication in Managing Children's ADHD Symptoms
- Top Tips for Combating Stigma and Addressing Myths about ADHD
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- What To Do If Your Child Has ADHD?
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- Children, Meds, and Heart Safety: A Tale of ADHD and Public Health
- ADHD & Your Child’s Transition to College
- Your Teen with ADHD: Challenges and Strategies for Success
- Ask the Expert - No more homework battles
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- What is ADHD?
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- Stop the Chaos! Tips for Creating a Peaceful Household When Mom has ADHD
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- Your Student With ADHD Was Admitted to College, Now what?
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- Diagnosing ADHD
- Helping Your Child Successfully Handle Change
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