Review of "Ethical Wills"
By Barry K. BainesPerseus Publishing, 2001
Review by Lara Winner, M.A. on Jul 9th 2002
Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper is, as the name suggests, a self-help guide for those wishing to write an ethical will. While there are brief chapters introducing the nature and history of the ethical will concept, the bulk of the book consists of tips, outlines and writing exercises designed to facilitate the will creation and storage process for all types and skill levels of writers. (The book is an updated and expanded version of Bainess 1998 Ethical Will Resource Kit; a workbook is also available.) Because of the frequent sprinkling of graphic boxes and extended quotations, the book may seem to read more quickly than its 160 pages; a healthy one-third of the text is taken up by an appendix containing actual ethical wills by authors ranging in age from their 20s to their 80s. Overall, though, the book should be useful for average lay readers interested in learning more about ethical wills and as a resource for those professionalslawyers, medical and hospice personnel, religious, and otherswho work with them. If nothing else, it is one of very few of its kind.
So what is an ethical will? Unlike a last will and testament disposing of ones estate or an advanced directive for health care decisions, an ethical will is not legally binding. Rather, a good ethical will transmits values, life lessons, family history, and other experiences to those left behind when the author dies. One pictures a written version of those few choice words of wisdom spoken by a family elder on his/her deathbed. While the legal will deals with material goods, the ethical will is meant to pass on the non-material goods and family traditions of equal or greater importance.
Thus the term ethical will may be a bit misleading; ones first instinct is to think along the lines of a living will or other advanced directive for health care. (One of the example wills in the appendix is actually attached to the patients durable power of attorney; it is meant to help guide her children in situations she could not foresee.) Baines chooses quite consciously to use it, however; ethical wills have been around since Biblical times, and peaked during the Middle Ages in Jewish communities. Baines says he wants to tap into and preserve that tradition. Many wills are also largely normative in nature, passing on the authors collected wisdom on how one should live. Nevertheless, it would be nice if a less confusing name could be found.
Such terminological quibbles aside, Ethical Wills distills the best of Barry Bainess experience as a hospice physician and ethical will workshop leader and facilitator. He is not so much the author of this book as its compiler; the voices of friends and other contributors speak here as much as his own. But that is in large part the point; no one method for writing an ethical will is going to work for everyone, so as many approaches are included as possible. Bainess main goal is to promote the writing and use of the ethical will itself, to try to ensure that the most important words between family and friends do not remain unsaid. Who can argue with that?
© 2002 Lara Winner
Lara Winner, M.A., is a doctoral candidate in philosophy with a concentration in medical ethics at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. She is interested in mental health/mental health ethics both because it is a traditionally underserved area of medical ethics and because it can provide valuable insights into the interrelationship of mind, body, and spirit.
Resources
-
Articles
- Introduction to Death & Dying
- Planning for & Dealing with Your Own Imminent Death
-
Signs of Approaching Death & Types of Care
- Signs and Symptoms of Approaching Death
- Dealing with the Imminent Death of a Loved One - Caring for a Dying Person
- Types of Care Available to Those Who Are Dying
- Heroic Measures to Prevent Death
-
Dealing with a Loved One's Imminent Death
- Making Peace with a Loved One's Imminent Death
- Dealing With Your Loved One's Imminent Death - Preparations and Activities
-
After a Death
- After the Death
- Funeral and Burial
- How to Behave at a Service and During the Grieving Period
-
Grief & Bereavement Issues
- Grief
- Symptoms of Grief
- Factors Influencing the Grief/Bereavement Process - Unexpected Death Vs. Expected Death
- Factors Influencing the Grief/Bereavement Process - Helping Children Grieve
-
Death & Dying Special Issues and Resources
- Special Issues Related To Death And Dying - Euthanasia
- Death and Dying Conclusion and Resources
-
Questions and Answers
- Change of Heart After Parent's Death
- General Anxiety
- Longing For My Son
- My Dead Mother Haunts My Dreams
- Sudden Loss
- Trauma/Tragedy
- A Recent Loss
- The Grass is Always Greener...
-
Book & Media Reviews
- A Commonsense Book of Death
- At the End of Words
- Before and After Loss
- Before I Die
- Being with Dying
- Beyond Goodbye
- Bodies in Motion and at Rest
- Crispin
- Death
- Death Benefits
-
44 more
- Death in the Classroom
- Death Is That Man Taking Names
- Death of a Parent
- Ecstasy
- Erasing Death
- Ethical Wills
- Extreme Measures
- Facing Death: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
- Going Through Hell Without Help From Above
- Graceful Exits
- Healing Conversations
- I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye
- Immortal Remains
- In Love With Life
- Into the Gray Zone
- Learning to Fall
- Let's Talk About Death
- Liberating Losses
- Losing Mum and Pup
- Loss
- Love, Aubrey
- Michael Rosen's Sad Book
- Mortal Dilemmas
- Murder in the Inn
- Olive's Ocean
- On Life After Death
- Peaceful Death, Joyful Rebirth
- Planning for Uncertainty
- Saving Grace
- Suffering, Death, and Identity
- Sunset Story
- The Awakening
- The Bright Hour
- The Color of Absence
- The Lovely Bones
- The Miracle
- The Modern Art of Dying
- The Other Side of Sadness
- The Suicide Tourist
- The Travelers
- To Die Well
- What Dying People Want
- When Breath Becomes Air
- Young@Heart
-
Links
- [4] Associations
- [8] Information
- [1] Journals
- [1] Services
- [17] Videos
- [1] Blogs
-
Videos
- Talking to Our Kids With Autism Spectrum Disorder About Death
- The Difference Between Hospice and Palliative Care
- Advance Directives
- Palliative Care Often Misunderstood
- Advanced Directives
- The Importance of Advanced Directives
- How to Set Up an Advance Healthcare Directive
- The Journey of Palliative Care: Putting Quality Back Into Life
- Planning Ahead with Advanced Directives
- Complicated Grief: Q & A with Dr. M. Katherine Shear
-
7 more
- Understanding Hospice Care
- Planning for End-of-Life
- Grief through a Child's Eyes
- Palliative Care: Who is it For, What Does it Do, Why Should I Want it and When?
- What Really Matters at the End of Life
- Talking About Death Won’t Kill You
- When to Create a Living Will
-
More Information
- Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Irvin Yalom, MD on Death Anxiety
Topics
-
Related Topic Centers
-
Addictions
-
Aging & Elder Care
-
Assessments & Interventions
-
Career & Workplace
-
Emotional Well-Being
-
Life Issues
-
Parenting & Child Care
-
Abuse
-
ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
-
Adoption
-
Autism
-
Child & Adolescent Development: Overview
-
Child & Adolescent Development: Puberty
-
Child Development & Parenting: Early (3-7)
-
Child Development & Parenting: Infants (0-2)
-
Child Development & Parenting: Middle (8-11)
-
Child Development & Parenting:Adolescence (12-24)
-
Child Development Theory: Adolescence (12-24)
-
Child Development Theory: Middle Childhood (8-11)
-
Childhood Mental Disorders and Illnesses
-
Childhood Special Education
-
Divorce
-
Family & Relationship Issues
-
Intellectual Disabilities
-
Learning Disorders
-
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
-
Parenting
-
Self Esteem
-
-
Psychological Disorders
-
Anxiety Disorders
-
Bipolar Disorder
-
Conversion Disorders
-
Depression: Depression & Related Conditions
-
Dissociative Disorders
-
Domestic Violence and Rape
-
Eating Disorders
-
Impulse Control Disorders
-
Intellectual Disabilities
-
Mental Disorders
-
Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorders
-
Personality Disorders
-
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
-
Schizophrenia
-
Sexual Disorders
-
Somatic Symptom and Related Disorders
-
Suicide
-
Tourettes and other Tic Disorders
-