am i off my head i feel i have no feelings and want to harm ppl

I Was diagnosed with adhd at 24 the backgroung showed it basically , I have always been defian i am in psychiatric care but have thoughts and feelings of harm of knifes and things like that only i dotr act on it cld i have a personality disorder I am on medication for the adhd , my memory has vastly improved, for remembering things but my concentratiion can stuill be bad with certain, things I never ust to remember what i did during the day, now I can play things over in my mind like a dvd to where i Was at a place or a tim , have talents for writing poetrry but still feel like i dont like anyone and feeel violence but dont show it.

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