Review of "The Inside Story on Teen Girls"
By Karen Zager and Alice RubensteinAmerican Psychological Association, 2002
Review by Fred Ashmore on Mar 17th 2004
Rubinstein and Zager have created a book that pulls together answers to the Big Questions raised by teen girls and their parents. And these are not the "How do I get rid of zits?" big questions, but the ones that get to the heart of moving on with life, making the most of it, enjoying it.
I was thrown at first by the double fronted set up! The book can be read from the front or turned over and read from the back. One front cover is for parents; the other for teens. It ?s weird at first, but actually very sensible for this book because parents questions are so different from teen questions.
Teens' questions
Who am I? and why do I feel this way?
What's happening to my body?
Girlfriends and boyfriends - why is it all so complicated?
Guys, love and sex - how do I decide what to do?
School, school, school - why is there always a problem?
How do I find time to do it all?
Are all families this difficult to live with?
Eating disorders, anxiety, depression: how can I tell if I'm really in trouble?
Drugs and alcohol: how can I not be tempted?
What will my future be like?
Why is it so hard to fit in?
My parents don't listen. How can I talk to them?
Parents' questions
Why is she so difficult to deal with?
Why can't she think for herself?
Will I ever stop worrying about her?
How can I help he feel good about herself?
How will she ever become an independent woman?
Each chapter has a series of more specific questions with answers that explore possible solutions. They drill down into the subject, and the answers display wisdom, common sense, practical approaches to real problems and a good balance from "This you might sort out in this way or think about in this way," to "If this is what you think is happening, you should get competent help as soon as you can."
This is definitely a good book. Time and again I found myself nodding agreement as I read. I speak as the father of two lovely girls, one who had a hellish time as a teenager (generously shared with us) and the other who is in the middle of what seems to be a pretty good experience (so far, fingers crossed). The book is full of sound advice and good sense, and I'm glad I read it.
OK, there were times when I longed for a bit of crunch. Constant good sense and tolerance can feel boring - but I would recommend this book to any parent of a teen girl. I was reminded of just how full life is likely to be for a teen girl, and how this eats away at the time she needs for relaxation; how puzzling the mood changes are from the inside as well as from the outside. And I was reminded that Dad matters too, for which thanks to the authors. My wife's response when she saw me reading this was to question the appropriateness!
Recommended reading? For sure if you have a teen girl. I think it is aimed at parents, mostly, being a bit discursive for many teens (at least my 14 year old daughter gave it short shrift). It would be useful for any adult who has to deal with teen girls, in fact. It is not, I think, aimed at the expert professional but would be helpful for teachers, counsellors, youth workers. A lot of it will feel familiar and even repetitive, but keep mining, there are nuggets there as well.
© 2004 Fred Ashmore
Fred Ashmore is a member of the public with a strong interest in drugs, drink and addiction and how people recover from them. He is active as a meeting host for the SMART Recovery® program, which offers help for people who seek to modify harmful and addictive behavior.
Resources
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Articles
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An Overview of Child Developmental Theories
- An Overview of Child Development Theories
- Developmental Channels
- Child Development Stages vs. Continuous Development
- Developmental Stages and Milestones of Child Development
- Sensitive Periods in Child Development
- Major Child Development Theories and Theorists
- Sigmund Freud and Child Development
- Erik Erikson and Child Development
- Lawrence Kohlberg and Child Development
- Jean Piaget and Child Development
- Urie Bronfenbrenner and Child Development
- Child Development Overview Summary
- Infants: Parenting and Child Development
- Early Childhood: Parenting and Child Development
- Middle Childhood: Parenting and Child Development
- Adolescence: Parenting and Child Development
- Child Mental Disorders and Illnesses
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An Overview of Child Developmental Theories
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Questions and Answers
- Do I Have a Mental Condition?
- Is There Something Wrong?
- 11 Year Old Daughter Jealous of my Boyfriend
- Are my past sexual fantasies dangerous and unusual?
- A child with a bad attitude
- Children's role-play after loss. Is this an instance of denial?
- young teen response to death and grief
- can 7-yo boy have antisocial personality disorder?
- Self esteem
- I\'m in love with my therapist
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37 more
- Is this a eating disorder ?
- Teen in Full Retreat
- Anxiety in children
- Is Depression a Factor in Children With ADD?
- Dad will shoot through hoops.
- Helping my almost 19 year old daughter face the real world
- dominant ego
- 19 year old daughter in abusive relationship
- Why is my 3 year older fixated with the witch and the bad guys?
- Mother showering & sleeping in same bed with 5 year old
- my 7 year old nephew
- my daughter
- Good 14 Year Old Boy becomes freshman and falls apart
- child psychological disorder
- 10 year old dreaming of killing
- How to communicate to a \'feeler\'
- preteen bad behavior
- Teenager...angst vs. mental health issue
- homesick
- Does My Child Have A Mental Problem?
- How Does Childhood Abuse Influence Adulthood?
- Failing My Daughter
- I Wanna Be Thin!
- Hypochondriac Daughter
- Attachment Disorder
- Self-Abusive Step-Daughter
- Too Young For Meds
- Is Bipolar Inheritable?
- How Long To Diagnose ADHD?
- Childhood Depression
- Perfectionistic Son
- Paranoia
- My Granddaughter Is Acting Bizarrely
- Boarding School Blues
- Self-Punishing Son
- Bipolar Chat Rooms?
- Dogs Instead of Children?
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Book & Media Reviews
- 100 Things Guys Need to Know
- 3 NBS of Julian Drew
- A Guide to Asperger Syndrome
- A Tribe Apart
- A User Guide to the GF/CF Diet for Autism, Asperger Syndrome and AD/HD
- A Walk in the Rain With a Brain
- Adolescence and Body Image
- Adolescent Depression
- After
- Aggression and Antisocial Behavior in Children and Adolescents
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236 more
- All Alone in the Universe
- Amelia Rules
- America
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- Artemis Fowl
- Assessment and Treatment of Childhood Problems, Second Edition
- Autistic Spectrum Disorders
- Bad Girl
- Between Two Worlds
- Beyond Appearance
- Beyond Diversity Day
- Big Mouth & Ugly Girl
- Bill Henson
- Bipolar Disorders
- Body Image, Eating Disorders, and Obesity
- Body Image, Eating Disorders, and Obesity in Youth
- Boy
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- Branded
- Breaking Point
- Breathing Underwater
- Bringing Up Parents
- Bullying and Teasing
- Can't Eat, Won't Eat
- Catalyst
- Child and Adolescent Psychological Disorders
- Children Changed by Trauma
- Children with Emerald Eyes
- Children’s Dreaming and the Development of Consciousness
- City of One
- Concise Guide to Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
- Conquering the Beast Within
- Contentious Issues
- Cracked
- Cut
- Dancing in My Nuddypants
- Demystifying the Autistic Experience
- Descartes' Baby
- Dilemmas of Desire
- Dirty
- Doing It
- Doing School
- Dying to Be Thin
- Eating an Artichoke
- Educating Children With Autism
- Elijah's Cup
- Ellison the Elephant
- Emerald City Blues
- Emotional and Behavioral Problems of Young Children
- Every Girl Tells a Story
- Fast Girls
- Feather Boy
- Firegirl
- Forever Young
- Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome
- Freewill
- Geography Club
- Georgia Under Water
- Girl in the Mirror
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- Girlsource
- GirlWise
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- Goodbye Rune
- Granny Torrelli Makes Soup
- Growing Up Girl
- Handbook for Boys
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- Hollow Kids
- How Children Learn the Meanings of Words
- How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can't
- Hug Me
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- It's Me!
- It's Perfectly Normal
- Jake Riley
- Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key
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- Taking Charge of ADHD, Revised Edition
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- That Summer
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- The Explosive Child
- The Field of the Dogs
- The First Idea
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- The Inside Story on Teen Girls
- The Little Tern
- The Mean Girl Motive
- The Men They Will Become
- The Myth of Laziness
- The New Gay Teenager
- The Notebook Girls
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- The Present Moment in Psychotherapy and Everyday Life
- The Real Truth About Teens and Sex
- The Rise and Fall of the American Teenager
- The Secret Lives of Girls
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- The Shared Heart
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- The Steps
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- The Unhappy Child
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- The Whole Child
- Then Again, Maybe I Won't
- Therapy with Children
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- Touching Spirit Bear
- Trauma in the Lives of Children
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- True Believer
- Twisted
- Unhappy Teenagers
- Way to Be!
- We're Not Monsters
- What about the Kids
- What Would Joey Do?
- What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys
- What's Happening to My Body? Book for Girls
- When Nothing Matters Anymore
- When Sex Goes to School
- When Your Child Has an Eating Disorder
- Where The Kissing Never Stops
- Whose America?
- Why Are You So Sad?
- Winnicott
- Worried All the Time
- Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!
- You Hear Me
- Young People and Mental Health
- Your Child, Bully or Victim?
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Links
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Videos
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- Having Difficult Conversations with Children
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- Positive Behavior Support: Making Clear and Effective Requests
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- Developing Brain Injuries
- Kids and Sleep
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- Sleep Disorders in Children
- Bullying Prevention: Lessons from Research and Practices
- No Need to Sweat a Slight Fever
- Cutting Back on Sugar
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- Teaching Kids to Get Moving
- Changing Mindset of Juvenile Diabetes
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- Kids and Brain Strain
- Risks in Delaying Childhood Vaccinations
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- Kids and screen time
- When to take your child to the emergency department
- Creating Safe and Supportive Schools for LGBTQ Students
- 20 Min Exercise Cuts Kid's Diabetes Risk
- Most Kid's Fevers, No Worries
- Giving Your Child’s Diet a Makeover
- Flu Vaccines for Kids
- Fevers: When it’s Time to Worry
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- Dipping into Swim Safety
- Sick Kids: Viral vs. Bacterial
- Asthma 101
- Focusing your Children on Fitness
- Parents Slow to Recognize Obese Children
- Development of the Young Brain
- Both Types of Diabetes Rising in Kids
- Monitoring and Limit Setting: Privilege Removal
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- An Evidence-Based Approach to Youth Sports Concussions
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- Vaccines: Separating Myth from Reality
- Tough to Swallow - Tips for Kids Taking Meds
- Learning & cognitive difficulties in children: Challenges after a head injury, including concussion
- Vaccinations and Immunizations
- Sport Concussions in Youth: Community Guide for Education, Treatment and Research
- Help Your Child with Diabetes Prepare for School
- Back to School: Dr. Stephen Whiteside on Routines
- Dr. Bridget Biggs on Bullying
- Ask the Expert - No more homework battles
- Weight Control For Children: Improving Physical Activity
- Back to School: Sick Kids - Should They Stay or Should They Go?
- Back to School: Feed the Body and Brain
- Childhood Cancer facts and treatment information
- Breaking the Silence, Breaking the Cycle Honoring Youth Voices
- 6 Top Tips for Parents
- Kids With Asthma Who Are Exposed To Secondhand Smoke Have Twice As Many Hospitalizations
- Sport Concussions in Youth
- Disparities in early childhood obesity: Risk factors and possible solutions
- Exercise and Bone Health in Children and Adolescents
- Children Build Self-Esteem, Increase Confidence, Stop Bullies
- Eating and Nutrition – Tips for K-12
- Positive Parenting & Promoting Mental Health
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- Active Games a Game Changer?
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- A Good Night's Slumber: Tips for Healthy Sleep Habits in Children
- Preventing Childhood Obesity
- Past Procrastination -- Get Your Kids Organized, Focused and Motivated
- Ask the Expert: Late, Lost, and Unprepared: How to Help Your Child with Executive Functioning
- Kids and Common Infections
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Topics
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- ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
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Addictions
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Aging & Elder Care
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Career & Workplace
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Life Issues
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Parenting & Child Care
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Abuse
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ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
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Adoption
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Autism
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Child & Adolescent Development: Overview
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Child & Adolescent Development: Puberty
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Child Development & Parenting: Early (3-7)
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Child Development & Parenting: Infants (0-2)
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Child Development & Parenting: Middle (8-11)
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Child Development & Parenting:Adolescence (12-24)
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Child Development Theory: Adolescence (12-24)
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Child Development Theory: Middle Childhood (8-11)
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Childhood Mental Disorders and Illnesses
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Childhood Special Education
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Divorce
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Oppositional Defiant Disorder
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Parenting
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Self Esteem
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Depression: Depression & Related Conditions
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Domestic Violence and Rape
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Impulse Control Disorders
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Intellectual Disabilities
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Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorders
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Personality Disorders
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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
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Schizophrenia
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Sexual Disorders
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Somatic Symptom and Related Disorders
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Suicide
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Tourettes and other Tic Disorders
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