Is it ok to feel this way?

I am 15 years old and I think I have no friends. From the age of 9 I knew I was different then everyone around me. I would get uncontrollably angry and pull my hair, so far that I had to keep the piles in a box because the garbage would be too obvious. Then I began to contemplate suicide and there was no one around to help me because my mom is bipolar and doesn\'t care about me. I began to cut myself, deep, when I was 13 . I would do it on my thigh. I blamed my only friend, who I actually liked, because she would ignore me and go off with her other friends because she said I was too depressing to be around. I can\'t help it if I don\'t understand anything. I\'m just really not that smart. In fact I always tend to get into bad things, Like when I found a dead dog and I was really hungry and I just wondered what it would taste like. It wasn\'t gone bad so I just brought it too my shed where my dad keeps his tools and cooked it over the BBQ. Lately I\'ve felt really lonely because my former only friend left me because I was too \'clingy\'. This past week I had sex with a lot of girls because sometimes I just really want to do that. whats wrong with me, I need to get help so I can care about other people.

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