Pleasure-blind

It seems like my mind is barred from all happy and pleasurable senses. It's like being colorblind...I only feel a select few emotions, mostly negative, and have not "had fun" in years. I don't know what joy is, and nothing seems fun to me...it's hard even to remember what interested me before. Even food and drink tastes all the same to me. I'll try to go along with the crowd...I don't want to be seen as a hermit...but I can't stand the fact that there's this emotional block that prevents me from feeling happy or at least entertained. I do everything because I have to, including extra-curricular, and quite frankly I don't know of anything that's fun anyway. I am taking some sedatives in addition to anti-depressants so I can understand if I feel lethargic...but right now I feel like a block of stone. Is this another symptom of depression that I'll have to live with? Do I really have to turn to alcohol or some other chemical to try and feel some kind of joy? Apparently my therapist isn't too concerned with this problem as long as I'm alive.

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