Skip Navigation Link

Northern Wyoming Mental Health Center Inc.

Looking for Help?
Click Here for the Office Location Nearest You

Ask Dr. Schwartz
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

I Feel Like a Complete Waste of a Human Life

Hi,

I feel like I've struggled with depression for at least 3 years but I've never talked to anybody about it because I'm scared. I have this problem where I always have to seem perfect, and so, I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself and everybody else that I'm fine when I'm really not. I can't handle somebody thinking there's something wrong with me. I guess I should give you a bit of background.

My parents got divorced when I was 14, I'm 21 now. My dad was emotionally abusive and a drug addict. I think that has affected me a lot. Ever since this summer, I think it's been getting worse. I started cutting myself in August and I've been doing it more than usual recently.

I dropped out of college a few weeks ago because the pressure of everything is too much for me. I feel like I can't handle doing anything that a normal person should be able to do. I don't really have any kind of a social life because it's always been very hard for me to make friends. I'm shy and I have awful self-esteem. At this point I've convinced myself that nobody should ever want anything to do with me because I'm a terrible person. Sometimes I feel so lonely that it actually starts to make me feel physically sick.

As I mentioned before, my self-esteem is very low and a common thing for me to do is to think about every little thing I hate about myself. Right now I can't think about anything I actually like about myself. I feel like the world would be a better place without me because I'm a burden and I feel like I don't deserve to live because I'm just a waste. I feel like I'm never going to amount to anything and that i might as well end it all now. I'm scared of dying though so I don't think I could actually kill myself. i just wish all the time that I would die or that I'd never been born.

I want to help myself to feel better because I want so badly to be happy but I don't know where to start. I'm so scared to tell somebody about everything. I'm especially scared about telling my mom because she found out about me cutting once already when I first started doing it and I don't want to upset her.

This is really long I'm sorry but I just wanted some kind of a professional opinion on this.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Share This

Resources